How to excel at the ultimate oxymoron: a recession-era corporate holiday party

How to Excel at the Ultimate Oxymoron: a Recession-era Corporate Holiday Party

Today I’d like to share with you my thoughts on the upcoming holiday season and that most complex event: the corporate holiday party that coincides with an economic meltdown.

Despite the weak economy, or perhaps because of it, most companies in the U.S. plan to carry on with their holiday parties. As a leader in attendance at this event, it’s important to strike a tone that is festive without appearing to lose sight of the larger context. Remember that all eyes are on you, even in non-office settings — perhaps even more so in non-office settings where your behavior will be seen as «the real you.»

Corporate holiday parties remain one of the weirdest hybrids of work and play that I have ever experienced. They’re a veritable minefield in which if you perform well, absolutely no one will remember you, and if you perform poorly, everyone will remember you for years to come — for all the wrong reasons. In the spirit of ensuring the former and not the later, I offer these tips.

How to Get in the Right State of Mind

As a leader, if you’re stressed and fearful, your feelings will leak out no matter how hard you try to appear confident. The more you feel freaked out, the more people around you will feel freaked out, no matter how hard you try to hide it, so you’ve got to go to the source.

Whenever you feel fearful, focus your attention on the vision for the company, on positive steps the leadership team is taking to lead the organization through the recession.

I sat in on a senior staff meeting held by one of my clients earlier this week and he was absolutely inspiring. He told his team, «We have to plan for the worst, but we also have to plan for the success that will follow this downturn — because when it comes back, we will see absolutely enormous demand.» While acknowledging a rough current situation, he was also reassuring his team that he saw a bright future for the company.

Now, I’m not suggesting that you discuss the prospect of lay-offs or plant closures at the holiday party! However, do keep your mindset positive in the coming weeks so that whenever you are surrounded by employees, that positive energy rubs off on them and your upbeat attitude is authentic.

How to Choose Your Attire: This Year, It’s Easy

This year, even if you are doing well, it’s a good idea to dial down the bling a notch or two.

— Leave the gold Rolex at home. You don’t have to wear a Swatch, but please be cautious about flashing a $30,000 timepiece to people who are worried about getting laid off, paying their bills, and other basic needs.

— For the female executives, this is an easier year for corporate party attire than last year, since a more classic, subdued look is appropriate to the economic climate, as well as to your role as an executive. Choose from the many options out there, or go full-on recession-chic by wearing something already in your closet.

— I always greatly admire a woman with the guts and style to wear an elegant tuxedo to a corporate event, but only try this if you have great style and the confidence to pull it off without showing off. Corporate parties are about reinforcing teamwork, not about individual stars outshining the rest of the pack.

— There’s no need to be downright drab. It’s a party after all. Wear a little bling if it’s your style. Just don’t take it as far as you might in boom times.

All bets are off if you work in the entertainment industry. If that’s the case, take everything I’ve written and ignore it.

And Now, for the Part You Really Don’t Want Me to Tell You…

If you’re as outgoing as I am when stone cold sober, just imagine how goofy you must look after a few drinks. A general guideline — you can probably handle about half as much as you think!

Particularly limit yourself to one or two drinks during cocktails, since there’s more to come with dinner.

This tip applies even if your superiors are stone-cold blottoed. That promotion or transfer you may want will in part be based on your good judgment in a variety of settings. No, it’s not fair, is it?

How to be a Great Conversationalist — a Pain-Free Approach

Nobody really cares what you do for a living or what projects you’re working on. Yet, in American culture, like work-a-holic lemmings we instinctively ask, «What do you do?» This is a particularly sensitive subject this year as many employees and spouses at the event may be recently laid off or anticipating the ax coming down soon. Don’t let party conversations turn glum by opening with shop talk. Make this party a chance for people to forget about their problems for an evening.

Become the greatest conversationalist they’ve ever met in their entire lives by not asking about work. Try, «What interests you outside of work?,» «What are you doing these days for fun?,» «What are your kids up to?,» or anything else that invites conversation on a subject of interest other than work.

Follow-up questions help, too. («You do scrapbooking with your friends. I didn’t realize that was a group hobby. How did you become interested in it?» «So your teenagers are budding Emo-Punk t-shirt designers. Wow. I’ve never heard of that. Tell me more.»)

Introduce yourself to every person at your table, and talk with each of them at some point during dinner, including the spouses, who will speak highly of you forever simply because you steered the conversation away from endless droning on about the office.

Bonus points if you remember names and introduce people to each other. Here’s a great trick for remembering names. My husband swears by it. As soon as you are introduced, say the individual’s name, as in, «Pleased to meet you, Kate.» Then use it two more times early in the conversation. The repetition makes it stick in your head.

And Now for my Favorite Tip for a Sit-Down Dinner

When you sit down next to the CEO, avoid eating his or her food by remembering that your bread plate is to the left and your drink is to the right. Cue yourself by forming an «o» with your index finger and thumb. On the left hand, this forms the letter «b» for bread, and on the right hand, the letter «d» for drink.

Try it now. See? Nifty, huh?

Don’t worry about getting caught doing this. It’s a great conversation starter. For example, the person next you just might say, «Ah, I see you read Traveling Light…»

How to provide poor customer service

How To Provide Poor Customer Service

All businesses strive to provide excellent customer service, but there’s a fine line between service and servility. Extreme servility is called obsequiousness. Now there’s a word for you to know. Even if you don’t know what it means, you’ve experienced it-maybe in a restaurant, a clothing store, a car dealership, anywhere where employees hope that by virtue of their attention they will make sales or garner large tips. It’s one thing to be attentive and meet customers’ needs; it’s another to be so present and «in their face» that customers think you want them to adopt you.

A few months ago, I ordered a gift of steaks and roasts from a meat mail order business for some family members. When no acknowledgement came, I called to find out if they had gotten their present. As it turned out, the parcel delivery service had left the package at the wrong address, but the people who had received it in error were honest enough to immediately call the intended recipients to let them know about the mix up.

The only person who had made a mistake was the delivery man who’d misread the mailing label, and no one ever heard a word out of him or his company. The same can’t be said for the meat company. In its relentless pursuit to keep customers satisfied, company representatives started calling me-daily-to make sure I was still happy and to see if I didn’t want to order more meat.

After the umpteenth call that resulted in no additional purchases from me, I asked to have my name and number removed from the calling list. Being nice hadn’t worked. Maybe some force would be more effective. Keep in mind I had had absolutely no beef with the mail order company until now. It was at this point, however, that customer service attention turned into customer obsession.

I thought I’d gotten the point across, but about a week later I started receiving calls at my work number. When I would take advantage of the caller ID feature on my phone, I saw an area code and number I didn’t recognize. I answered in my usual way, but each time the caller said nothing and simply hung up. This happened several times until I checked the number and discovered it was the cattle crew. This was out of control. I’d said no from my home number. The answer wasn’t going to be any different on my business line. Now they were intruding on my work day without saying a word.

One final call (and I emphasize the word final) came at 9:17 p.m. last week. Dinner was long over, and no one in the house was thinking about food, especially not about T-bones. No one was consciously thinking about anything since we were all asleep. It had taken almost an hour to get the three-year-old to quit fussing about having to go to bed, but at last he’d drifted off. That is, until the phone rang. I was roused from a very deep sleep by the phone ringing and our child yelling for Mommy.

Too unawake to check the caller ID, I answered. To my utter amazement, it was another company rep wanting to know if I was ready to order more filets. It was time to take this bull by the horns. «No,» I said, «not now, not ever again!» I can’t remember exactly, but I’m sure I pointed out that I’d asked to have my name and number removed from their list. That he had had the audacity to call so late in the evening was absolutely beyond my comprehension.

This experience is a clear illustration of how customer service can go terribly wrong. Probably part of this was due to someone misreading the data and assuming that since I had placed a substantial order, I would likely do so again. Who knows? Maybe I would have at a later time, but the «overkill» from the sales staff turned out to be a deal breaker as far as I’m concerned.

Let this be a cautionary tale for any businesses out there that think «hard selling» is going to work every time. In many cases it will backfire and have just the opposite effect from the one you want.

I’ve recently conducted a less-than-statistically-valid study polling people (my office manager, my aunt, and a very nice woman behind me in a line at Safeway) about customer disservice. Although not all the results are in, here are ten tips to take to heart to keep your customers truly satisfied:

1. Just because your business model says customers should, in all probability, be interested in buying something, don’t assume they’re kidding when they tell you no.

2. Limit unsolicited calls to the same person.

3. Call at a reasonable time.

4. After you hear «Hello,» really listen to what the other person says to you.

5. Don’t argue when the customer says «no.»

6. Honor the customer’s wishes.

7. If you are offering service to someone in person, be available, but don’t hover.

8. An internet order does not give you authorization to call someone at home or work to offer add-on purchases or services.

9. Know that a lot of people have caller ID, so don’t call and hang up without saying something.

10. Ask yourself: Would you want to get the call you’re getting ready to make?

This is just a starting point. Maybe you have some pet peeves of your own. If so, send them to our website. There are plenty of people we like to hear from. Just don’t contact me about buying anything that was standing on four legs and had a pulse until recently. I’m now a vegetarian thanks to the last person who did!

How to use a gps

How to use a GPS? Tips and tricks that will make sure you’ll get from point A to B without breaking your GPS

So you’re tired of using huge unfoldable maps on your road-trip? You’re a man that doesn’t like to ask for directions and refuse to hear “let’s ask somebody” one more time! You’ve bought a GPS. Good for you. What’s next?

Give it some time. When you power your newly bought GPS device, it will download essential information from the sky. Your GPS will be enlightened with data regarding satellite location and whereabouts. This process can last a good 20 minutes or so and you want to do it before you leave for your cross-country-RV-road-trip. If you eventually got to the other side of the nation, remember to let your GPS know and do the satellite lock thingy once more.

Give it some thought. It’s recommended to learn how to use your GPS and avoid unnecessary frustration and the random GPS flying out of the window routine. Get the manual and try to understand the basics in the comfort of your home, where there is no pressure and the only place you’ll need to go to is the bathroom.

Give it some software. Did you know that Hawaii is moving 4 inches towards Japan each and every year? Good! Does your GPS know it? Not unless you update maps and software every once in a while. An update can make your GPS work faster and if your manufacturer is nice, he’ll throw in cool new features from time to time. A firmware update is usually free and requires a visit to the website and downloading files into your GPS device. Updating maps will probably cost you money but if London Bridge will fall down you’ll be notified to take a different route.

Give it your own maps. Did you know that you can create a route on Google maps or MapQuest and send it to your GPS? Plan your trip before you leave home, include a stop at grandma’s and at the video store and head on your way.

Give it your own terms. Now you can not only decide whether your GPS will have the voice of a man or a woman, but you can also decide what it’s going to say. Instead of the annoying “turn right in 100 feet” you can make it say “turn right on Main Street.” Isn’t it cool? So if you know the neighborhood or just don’t know 2 feet from your two feet, use the Text to Speech option.

Give it a good reset. Don’t you just love to insert that pin and push the hidden reset button? Well, if your GPS is going nuts and telling you to take a left into the Grand Canyon – save your favorites and reset the little bugger.

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